Sweeney Todd Characters Q&A
by obsessivelyfanaticgw09
Summary: I've somehow gathered all of the Sweeney Todd characters somewhat peacefully in the same room. Yes! Q&A time! Hurry before they start to kill each other! Submit your own questions for later chapters!
1. Chapter 1

Mrs. Lovett rushed into the small room, dragging Toby behind with a death grip on his wrist.

"Mum!" Toby shouted, pulling until his wrist was free from Mrs. Lovett's tight grasp. Dragging himself back until he was standing in the threshold, the boy rubbed his wrist, "Ow…jeese…"

"There's no one here!" Mrs. Lovett called, looking around the very empty room. There wasn't anything or anybody in the bright white room besides a few very ugly, very uncomfortable looking yellow chairs.

"Well…you _did _insist on being here, like, an hour early…" Toby spoke, rolling his eyes.

"Love, the invitation said 2o'clock sharp!"

"And it's 1:03!"

Mrs. Lovett looked at the young boy with a very, _don't talk to me in that kind of way_, look. Still, she didn't say anything about it. Instead, she turned around and sat in the chair closest to the door while muttering, "Now see, love? We get the best seats! Now sit! All good things come to those who can wait!"

Toby rolled his eyes again and muttered under his breath as he sat down to the left of her, "Man do I get tiered of hearing you say that…"

Not two seconds after the two sat down, humming was heard down the hall. Both Nellie and Toby craned their necks in curiosity to see who else was coming to this strange event they were invited to.

But instead of seeing someone who they were expecting, dressed in Victorian dresses and pale as can be step into the room, somebody completely different waltzed in. The teenage girl had capris jeans going just past her knees on her skinny legs and a simple black t-shirt on that said, "I'd rather be watching Sweeny Todd". Her brown hair was piled and curled on top of her head with various and nonmatching bows in seemingly random places. In her ears were, what appeared to Mrs. Lovett and Tobe to be, strings, and strangest of all, she was brushing her teeth. Upon walking in the room, she stopped dead in her tracks, the toothbrush half in her mouth, and her eyes wide.

"Um…..hm?" she mumbled.

"I'm sorry what was that, love?"

"You ree semmsly eeer…hang on…" she held up her index finger, sending to the two that she would be just one minute and rushed back down the hall.

Toby and Mrs. Lovett exchanged confused glances as they waited for the strangely dressed girl's return.

Moments later she was back, looking as confused at the baker and the young boy as they looked at her.

"Wow! I didn't think you guys were actually going to come! And so…"

"What is that? American accent?" Toby interrupted. The girl just smiled and nodded while Mrs. Lovett shot him another disapproving look. "Mhmmm…Signor Pirelli used an American accent for a while…but he got bored of it and switched to Italian…"

"Anyway…And so early at that!" she shouted, a little hint of fan-girlish scream at the edge of her voice.

"Hi! I'm Molly!" she smiled, reaching out her hand to shake. Mrs. Lovett and Toby shook back, Mrs. Lovett smiling, Toby rubbing his sore wrist again.

"So, love," Mrs. Lovett went on, "I hope you don't mind my curiosity but…why exactly were we invited here?"

"Ha…" Molly went on, beginning to look around the room for something, "That's something I wasn't planning on explaining for another hour when everyone else gets here…". She leaned over one of the chairs and picked up a stack of papers that was lying under it, something Mrs. Lovett didn't notice before.

"Everyone else?" Toby asked.

"Yeah, you know, Sweeney, Johanna, Anthony, Pirelli, the judge, the beadle, all them!"

Mrs. Lovett's eyebrows narrowed, "Uh? The judge and Pirelli? But I thought…"

Molly was quick to interrupt, "Yeah, well it's all very confusing and it doesn't make sense to me either, but hey! If I can get you all here, why not! ?"

And with that, Molly whipped herself back out of the room, leaving Toby and Mrs. Lovett to sit and wonder for quiet a while. And waiting was seemingly more difficult now that they both had so many questions.

About two hours later (Cause SOME PEOPLE *cough*cough*ANTHONY* DON"T HAVE THE COURTESY TO BE ON TIME!), the room was filled with people.

Old-fashioned, pale, scary looking people.

And Molly couldn't be happier.

She stood up in front of the room, a painfully large smile on her face. "Hello everyone!" she said, trying to stay calm. "I'm soooo glad you're all here!" she squealed as her attempt to stay professional failed. "Well…I take it I don't have to introduce anyone since you already all know each other,"

Sweeney, who sat at the back of the room in a dark corner, threw a bitter gaze at the judge. When the demon barber had first walked in to see the gold-pants-wearing man talking to the beadle, he had immediately reached for one of his razors and ran for his throat. So Molly promptly confiscated both of the razors he had in his really cool fancy looking holster thing, which didn't really make for a happy Sweeney now. Even when Johanna walked in he turned his head to pretend like he didn't care.

Molly had found out that Sweeney was nothing but a big child.

"So guys!" Molly went on, clasping her hands together, "I'm going to tell you now why I invited you all here!"

"FINALLY!" Toby shouted and stood up, where Mrs. Lovett promptly grabbed his shirt and pulled him back to his seat with an embarrassed smile on her face.

"Yes, well. You're all here cause you're very popular! And lot's of people love you! In fact, many fans spend hours everyday on their computers writing, and reading, and watching, and singing, and talking about you!" Molly put a hand to her chest, "I am one of these people," she added, trying to act like it wasn't something strange at all, even though all of the people in the room were giving her very strange and confused looks.

"And well….these people, including myself, of course, have some questions that we'd like to have answered from you guys personally! Now isn't this fun! ? So I've got some questions here," she said, waving the large stack of paper in her hands, "and I've got some friends with some of their own question that are going to come in to ask you guys! All you have to do is answer them! Any questions from you guys?"

"How many friends like you are actually coming?" Toby asked, horrified

"I-a refesa to answera any questions about my pasta" Pirelli said in his _extremely _obnoxious accent.

"About you pasta? Surly that doesn't make any sense," The beadle directed to Pirelli.

"Love, how long is this going to take? I have pies to make!" Mrs. Lovett continued on, trying ever so hard to be polite.

"Anthony! You said this was going to be a romantic date!" Johanna cried

"No I didn't!" the boy argued back.

"Yes you did!"

"Who put you in charge?" The judge suddenly wondered, making Molly angry. She didn't really like him, so why was he here? She hoped there was some good questions for him tucked away in her stack, or she might have to actually let Sweeney slit his throat.

Breaking the noise that had erupted in the room, Sweeney suddenly shouted, "And why are you wearing a top that says you'd rather be watching me? I find that rather disturbing and throat-slitting worthy…"

And then suddenly, everyone began to talk, Johanna and Anthony arguing, Toby whining about how he didn't get his question answered and Mrs. Lovett telling him to wait. Pirelli saying… I don't know…something…all that Molly could make out was the annoying "a" at the end of every word. And the beadle and the judge looked pervertively at the teenage girl.

Feeling suddenly overwhelmed, Molly just shouted, "OKAY!" The room suddenly fell silent besides Anthony who was still defending his case to Johanna. He promptly shut up when Johanna elbowed him roughly in the rib cage.

"Question time is over!" Molly took a deep breath and looked around. "Let's bring in my first friend and questioner, Meg."

Molly clapped while all of the characters in the chair just sat silently, brows furrowed and eyes narrowed. In walked a short girl with glasses and flip-flops. Her yellow straight hair was tied in a pony tail and she was wearing similar clothes to Molly. Similar meaning not an elaborate dress…She was wearing very tight jeans, something Mrs. Lovett found looked rather uncomfortable, and a spaghetti strapped shirt with pink and red ruffles ruffling off of it.

The only super different thing from Molly to this girl is that this girl looked like she was about to explode. Her face was red, her eyes were wide, her teeth were clenched and she looked as happy as can be.

"Say something, Meg!" Molly encouraged.

"OMG! It's….EVERYONE! Mrs. Lovett! ! ! You're my favorite! Toby! YOU'RE SO CUTE! Johanna, I'm so jealous of your voice! Anthony! I like your hair! Pirelli…nice mustache. And Judge Turpin and Beadle….go die in a hole," Ignoring the offended look from the two, Meg continued, "Sweeney, where's Sweeney? ? ?"

Everyone, in unison, pointed to the back on the room where the demon hid in the shadows. "SWEENEY YOU NEED A HUG! But I won't hug you because I like life!"

Meg's energy made Molly laugh. Still she grabbed her friend's shoulders and shushed her. "Come on now Meg, ask your questions so we can get this on with!"

"Ok…ok…ok…" Meg took a deep breath and struggled to read off of the paper in her shaking hands.

"Ok…ok….ok…ok. Johanna. My first question is for you! ! Ok ready? Ready? Ok… Johanna, How does it feel to wear those extremely tight dresses that show off your…uhh…bosom? How can you sing in them?"

Meg looked up from her paper to see everyone starring at Johanna and the young girl looking rather embarrassed. Her cheeks seemed to be turning redder by the second.

"Um…" was all that she muttered out to the multiple eyes. "Can I pass on this, please?"

"No! You have to answer! It's for your fans!" Molly encouraged.

"Uh…fans?"

"Yeah, people that _like _you!"

"But the only people I know are Anthony, the judge and the beadle and I don't want the last two to like me!"

"It's hard to explain, Johanna, now answer the question!"

"Um…" She started again. She threw a nervous glance in the judge and Beadle's direction "Well…it feels rather painful…I guess. And degrading…I suppose. Since men always look down instead of look me in the eyes…but…it also hurts physically…to you know…breath. So…how do I sing? I…simply sing…it comes from my heart…"

Johanna finished and locked her eyes on the ground as everyone took turns looking at her.

"AWWWWWW! ! !" Anthony and Meg cried and Anthony leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

"EWWWWW!" Toby cried.

"It's so cheesy! But so AWESOME!" Meg called. Everyone knew that honestly, any answer would make her happy.

"Rrrrrrriiiiiggghhhhtttt!" Molly went on, "Well that broke the ice! Now bring on the next questioners!"

Meg leaped out of the front of the room and grabbed one of the yellow chairs to scoot next to Mrs. Lovett, leaning in unnecessarily close to her.

In next came another two girls. Only these two were…really young. They both had brown hair and similar t-shirts to the two older girls. One had a overly happy animated dog and bird on it and the other girl's was a simple red. The girl on the left was wearing jeans similar to Molly's, while the girl on the right was wearing a white skirt.

Molly stood above them and placed her hands on their heads. "Everyone! This is Sam and Marie! They're my awesome neighbors/little sister like things and they have some question because they like Sweeney Todd too!"

Mrs. Lovett's eyes narrowed as she spoke up suddenly, "Now by _liking _Sweeney Todd you mean…"

Molly sighed and realized that this all wasn't clear to the poor group of people in front of them. "I mean, not just him…like the whole movie…uh…like concept! Mostly the singing and acting. But yeah! The blood and gore and pie making of people, ergo, the cannibalism and hm…stalking too, I guess…" she added, motioning to Anthony who looked around like he didn't know what she was talking about, but he really did.

"How do you know about this! ! ? ?" came Sweeney's rough voice from the back. Molly knew that if she hadn't taken away his razors she would be very very dead by now.

"It's called a DVD…duh…"

"Wot the bloody hel…"

"Hey! Children in the room, Sweeney! This is rated K+ and we're keeping it that way! Tsk Tsk…MOVING ON!" Molly shouted with a dismissal of Sweeney's opinion.

Mrs. Lovett narrowed her brown eyes at the two young girls, "Um? How old are you, love?"

"Ten, ma'am. Twins! I'm older" Marie boasted.

"Stop bragging…"

"Ten? And you know all about this and blood and gore and such…"

The girls looked at each other and giggled, "Yes ma'am!"

"Ask away twinseys!"

"Ok!" Sam stepped up. "Toby!" She squealed sudden fan-gilishness taking over her too. "I LOVE YOU!"

Toby's eyes got wide as he looked at the young girl confused. "Thank you? Is that my question?"

"No silly! Now listen! Ok, now I really want to know this! The finger that you found in the pie?" Toby shivered, Sam smiled, "What did it taste like?"

Now the boys eyebrows pulled together and he looked confused and bewildered all at the same time.

"Why would you want to know that?"

"OH PLEASE TELL ME! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Oh PLEASE! I LOVE YOU!"

"Alright! Uh…" Toby also looked around the room to find that everyone was staring at him. "Well….the worst part was that it was actually…kind of…tasty?" Everyone else in the room were the bewildered and confused ones now. Going on, Toby added, "Uh…It was the NAIL that was gross! It tasted rough and crunchy and like rocks…and trust me I know what those taste like…THAT WAS GROSS!"

Toby shivered again and shrunk down in his seat. Mrs. Lovett tried to pat him on the back but he pulled away…Molly figured it must of, you know, been because of the whole finger incident…yeah…

Sam smiled big, "K! I'm happy now!"

"You're turn, Marie!" Molly chirped.

The other twin stepped up, she looked around at everyone with the same big smile as all the others and shouted "MRS. LOVETT!" she left it silent for a moment…and then continued "Get a grip…it's never gonna happen…"

The baker's eyes turned from sad, to confused, to concerned, to anger and then back to sad in a matter of a few seconds.

Marie went on now, "K… Mrs. Lovett, my question is for you!"

"Yes love?"

"What the heck do you see in Sweeney? !"

"SERIOUSLY!" Toby shouted, turning to his mum.

"I will not answer that. That is not a proper question," Mrs. Lovett said, straightening out her dress on her lap and avoiding everyone's staring eyes.

"You have to Mrs. Lovett!" Molly argued.

Mrs. Lovett bit her lip and looked back to the dark corner where Sweeney sat. "Well…"

* * *

><p><strong>What will Mrs. Lovett say?<strong>

**Find out next chapter!**

**And submit your own questions for the characters in the reviews! ! (keep it K+ for the twinseys!)**

**Give me a question, and your name/code name and Molly will be happy to read off your question!**

**One more question for you! I'm bringing Lucy in soon. Should she be Lucy-Lucy? Or beggar woman Lucy? Let me know!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

The door slowly creaked open, a face gradually emerging. A nose. Two eyes framed in glasses. A mouth with pulled down lips. "Ops…" came from between the lips.

Only a few of the figures in the room raised their heads to see who was opening the long-ago shut door.

The rusty hinges squeaked the rest of the way open as the girl the group vaguely recognized came into view from the bright hallway lights.

"Wahey you guys! Uh…long time no see!"

Mrs. Lovett pushed her curls out of her eyes at the sudden new presence in the room and Toby lifted himself up from the ground where he was sitting pushing around a dead bug. The Judge had the same smug look he always had on as he took his eyes off of Johanna to change his view for the first time in almost a year. Johanna and Anthony were still sitting beside each other, holding each other's hands and leaning their heads on each other while they slept. The light had awoken them and they both rubbed their eyes and stretched. Sweeney was still hidden in the shadows he seemed to create himself and kinda hard to make out. But ALL of them were looking at the girl in the same way…crossly.

"Well don't all look so excited…"

"What did you say your name was?" Toby asked, crossing his arms as if he was holding himself back from clawing the girl's eyes out.

"Molly…?"

"Molly…" Mrs. Lovett started calmly. But before she could get any other words out the whole room burst into a frenzy of hatred and angry words and yelling fits.

"HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE YOU WERE LAST HERE?" "WE'VE BEEN LOCKED IN HERE THIS WHOLE TIME!" "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" "DO YOU EVER CARE? ?"

"HEY HEY HEY OI! ! ! ! ! !" Molly shouted, putting her arms out to hold back the angry masses. "Uh…Where are Pirelli and the Beadle?"

"We had to eat _something_…"

"Oh…" the room fell silent. After a beat. "Oh well, I'll bring them back as ghosts if they get any questions. Now before you guys say anything else that might hurt my feelings cause I'm very sensitive just know that this is NOT my fault! !"

"What does her shirt say, Mrs. Lovett?" that was definitely Sweeny. Monotones, sounding sick of life, and always bitter.

Mrs. Lovett squinted into the light. "I'd rather be watching Doctor whoDOCTOR WHO? ?"

"WHAT HAPPEN TO ME BEING WHAT YOU WANTED TO WATCH? ! ?" Sweeney was against her neck now, wielding an invisible razor that he had lived without for the duration of the abandonment. "YOU PUT ME BACK ON YOUR SHIRT OR I WILL FIND MY RAZORS AND END YOUR MISERABLE PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A LIFE! ! !"

Molly took a step back and quickly did a dramatic tear away clothes moment to reveal her "I'd rather be watching Sweeney Todd" shirt directly under the TARDIS blue one.

"Now sit back down Sweeney!" Molly ordered to him like a bad puppy. "Alright you guys relax! It hasn't been that long…really. And you all survived right! ?" she laughed nervously. "Uh! Twins! Sam and Marie you guys can come in!" Molly lowered her voice "Just take off your Doctor Who shirts first!"

"Aw man! Now I gotta find a bathroom!" came a voice from the hallway. "Be right back…"

Molly turned back to the angry group of mostly-murderers. "So…I got a little distracted with life and new obsessions and laziness but point is…" she clapped her hands together. "I'm back! Know why? Cause I got this letter that fell from above!" Molly quickly pulled a crumpled up piece of notebook paper from her back pocket "Just kidding, it came in an e-mail…It's mysterious, it simply says 'Please write more!' and it's signed How-About-A-Shave. So that's why I'm back! Cause I always said, one review and I'll continue it! And apparently, you guys are missed! And I miss you too!"

"Oh…" the room said in unison. And for some reason that this author just cannot understand, this very unforgiving group, forgave her.

Sam happily returned and whipped out a nice Swiffer Duster! (I do not own the Swiffer Duster or any variations there-upon).

After a few minutes, the room was beginning to look clean and bright and cheery again (Well…as bright as it can get with a room full of characters from a horror movie). And Marie returned soon after with a smile at the thought of…

"So Mrs. Lovett are you finally gonna answer my question? ? ? ? ? I think you've had plenty of time to think about it."

"And we gotta get ON with this thing!" Molly shouted from where she sat with one arm around Sweeney's neck so he wouldn't jump up and strangle someone after what Mrs. Lovett was about to say.

"Go on then, love." Johanna prompted.

Marie quickly threw herself to the ground and sat cross-legged like a small child about to be told an exciting story. Her eyes were wide and twinkling and her bright smile seemed to even lighten Sweeney's corner.

"What was the question again?" Mrs. Lovett asked slowly.

Marie threw up her hands. "Oh good grief. I asked, and I quote, 'What the heck do you see in Sweeney! ? ! ? ! ?'"

"Oh yeah…" her words fell to the floor in the silence that followed.

"COME ON!"

Mrs. Lovett jumped up at the sudden outburst. "ALRIGHT JUST LOOK AT HIM! SERIOUSLY LOOK AT HIM!" she paced across the room to where the demon sat "HE'S FREAKIN' GORGEOUS! I mean sure, he's a little paler then Benjamin, and sure his hair's a little darker and he kinda looks like a skunk, but I love him for who he is!" her voice dropped to a mutter. "I mean, he's Johnny Depp for goodness sake…"

Sweeney finally looked up, "Who?"

Mrs. Lovett finished with a very fan-girly _sqee_! And then sat back down.

"NOW WE CAN FINALLY MOVE ON!" Molly shouted, shooting up from where she sat. Now that Sweeney was so confused about what he thought he heard, Molly doubted she would need to hold him back anymore tonight.

"Alright!" reaching into her back pocket, Molly pulled out a nice blue envelope. It was already torn open but she gladly pulled out the paper and cleared her throat rather loudly. "Now this was our first not-my-friend question! She asked this practically a year ago so who knows if she's even still alive but I'll ask it anyway! This is from Jenni! Like Jenny but with an I! She has a question for Mr. Sweeney!"

"Finally I have something to live for," the man answered dully and sarcastically.

"She writes - Were you really going to eat the judge after you killed him and Nellie baked him in a pie? The idea seems repulsive considering you hated the guy so much."

Molly and the rest of the group looked up and anticipated his answer.

"Well…think about it this way Jenni with an I, imagine road kill, if you'd like. Really dead, really gross, road-kill."

"Is he comparing me to a trodden animal?"

"Shut-up Judge, don't make me go get my magic talking stick!"

"That's how I saw the Judge when he was alive. Then I killed him. And it was like…no wait…I forgot where this is going."

Molly would have been upset if she didn't love listing to British people talk so much. He could go on for hours…she really didn't care! And Sweeney usually wasn't one for talking, so this was brilliant!

Sweeney began to go on "Well…wait…who's Nellie?"

"Figures…" Mrs. Lovett mumbled.

"Oh…Nellie…pies. I get it. Mrs. Lovett you have a first name?"

"Figures…" "Go on Sweeney!" Molly prodded.

"I honestly don't think the Judge even deserved to be made into a pie, quite honestly. It was just too much of a privileged to be cooked into something that everyone thought was so brilliant."

"He's talking about me like I'm not sitting right next to him."

"Yeah Judge, and you're too cowardly to do anything about it, so shut-up!"

"So, though I never planned beyond the moment of killing the Judge because that's all I really lived for, I'd say now that I would have…hmm…what's the lowest thing you can ever do to a person? I would have thrown him in the bake-oven, frankly." Sweeney finished with a nod.

"Figures..." was all Mrs. Lovett responded with.

"Brilliant! Thanks for asken Jenni! You got Sweeney to talk more then he talks for the whole entire movie! Just goes to show how much he hates the Judge…NEXT QUESTION!"

Another envelope flew out of Molly's back pocket and into her hand (not literally…oh you get it) and she read it aloud rather dramatically. "This is from ToddLover13!"

"That's almost as creepy as your T-shirt."

"Shut-up Sweeney, you know you liked it!"

"ToddLover13 has another one for Sweeney!" Molly continued.

"I think I've talked enough for today…"

"Sucks to be you then. ToddLover writes, 'I think someone should ask Sweeney why he chose that name.'"

"I don't like this game anymore."

"Come on Mr. T! I've been dying to know!" Mrs. Lovett prodded.

"As if your words will encourage me you mad woman!"

"I love it when he calls me that."

"Well…fine I'll tell you." Sweeney looked far off into the distance and if this were a movie the screen would go all wibbly wobbly and slightly more colorized and the flashback would start. "It was one night in my cell in Australia. My cell had housed many a criminal before me, and the walls were graffitied with tally marks and horrible drawings. But below all of them, engraved at the very bottom in very light lettering, were these words. I've read them so often I've memorized them… 'My name is Todd Sweeney. I am to be hanged tomorrow for many crimes…please don't forget me. Let the name live on.'" The screen goes wibbly wobbly again and we're back with current Sweeney. "And I didn't really want to steal the name exactly, so I just switched it around." He shrugged and returned to the shadows. "That's all I'm answering today."

"Wow that wasn't funny at all...that was really deep." Marie answered, wiping a tear and handing another tissue to Sam.

"Plus, did you know that Todd is German for death? And Sweeney means 'little hero'." Molly pointed out, flicking through another baby-name app on her i-pod.

"He's my little hero."

"Oh Mum would you just stop with all that…it gets annoying…truly." Toby spoke up, but it didn't stop Mrs. Lovett from looking lovingly into the dark corner.

"One more question for today! From a bloke called Bob dolphin who says 'I need to ask questions or I'll die.' This one's for you Mrs. L!"

"Oh no…" "They ask, 'What does your hair look like when you brush it?'"

"…what…?" Mrs. Lovett simply said after a beat.

"I HAVE A BRUSH!" Sam shouted suddenly, wielding the blue hair-brush like it was a million bucks.

"Oh no…"

"Oh yes!"

The pack in the room centered in on Mrs. Lovett, all ready to attack the mess that she for some reason called hair…

* * *

><p><strong>Well Bob dolphin, you'll have to tune in next time, cause this is gonna take a while! <strong>

**I am truly ashamed at how long it look me to update this...Ask more questions loves! I'll honestly try to get this up sooner next time!**


	3. Chapter 3

"MY GOODNESS THAT SERIOUSLY TOOK A LONG TIME!"

"Yeah…like…ten months."

"Molly can we turn the light on now? I want to see Mum's hair!"

"Yeah sure."

"I think I feel something sharp against my…" *flick* "Oh my own-holiness!"

Molly ran over to Sweeney where he was pressing one of his razors quite sharply into the Judges jugular. She slapped him on the nose a couple times before he let up his grip on the chased silver and let go.

"BAD SWEENEY!"

He hissed devil-ishly and crawled back into his unnaturally dark corner.

"How did you get this?" Molly turned around quickly. "Marie?!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Marie! I trusted you!"

"He was just looking at me with those big black eyes of his! I couldn't help myself!"

"Well now I'll have to hold all the razors."

"Aw…"

"I'm sorry but one day my moffat look at Mrs. Lovett!"

Mrs. Lovett sat in the middle of the room and as the crowd of people surrounding her backed away you could see that her hair was…straight. It was shiny and sleek and…strange. It hung low onto her shoulders and cascaded down her back. She looked younger and more-peaceful. And everyone in the room collectively raised an eyebrow and scrunched up their nose. Cause this just wasn't natural.

The room was silent for a long time.

"What?" Nellie asked, shrugging and shivering a bit at the feeling of hair where it's not supposed to be. "What? Is it that bad? Give me a mirror!"

"Sam wouldn't let me bring in mirrors. She was afraid that Sweeney might try to summon the devil or something." Molly answered flatly…still in shock at her favorite maniac looking so…normal.

"I don't like it as much." came again the dark voice.

"And there he is…the voice of god. You know what Mr. T if you didn't like it it's nicer to not say anything at…wait what?"

"No. You won't fool me into conversation."

Mrs. Lovett stood up abruptly and twirled around, her hair flying out and whipping Toby in the eye. "Ow!"

"You said you didn't like it as much! Which means you liked it better before!"

"I never said that."

"You liked my hair Mr. Todd! You liked something about me! You liked it! You just said so!" Mrs. Lovett poked Sweeney in the ribs a couple of time, adding extra angry-glare to his eyes.

Molly found herself in a position where it looked like she was going to have to pull Mrs. Lovett away from Mr. Todd like one of his razors. She was practically using him as a jungle jim, her knees on his lap and her face uncomfortably close to him.

"Nope no! No PDA Mrs. Lovett! No PDA! Rated K! Come on! Stop that!"

"I'm sorry love." But she didn't really get off of him in fact she rather just sat on his lap.

"You know Mole if you had not removed my razors from me this never would have happened."

"It's Molly, Mr. Swinney."

Suddenly the room shook and knocked Nellie to the floor next to Sweeney's feet. As the room continued to shake everyone's eyes were drawn back to Mrs. Lovett's head…her hair was vibrating, staticing up into the air and then POOF…it was back to the way it always is. Ten months of work for nothing.

"Did I not mention it often does that?"

"Uh…no you didn't. But we're moving onto the next question now!"

Molly flicked out another two envelopes on black and one white. "These came as a pair. One says "how did Sweeney get the white streak in his hair?" That's from Bella. And her counterpart asks "how did he escape from the Australian Jail? Seriously confusing!" which is from Rosa. New rule in the game! You have 60 seconds to answer. GO!"

Sam and Marie collectively whipped out stop-watches and pressed the botton for the time to start.

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, ,6 ,7…" they counted together.

"And what if I don't answer in 60 seconds?"

"THEN I WILL…" but Molly wasn't really sure what to do about that.

"13, 14, 15, 16, 17…"

"I will…" her eyes darted nervously around the room and Sweeney crossed his arms in triumph.

"29, 30, 31, 32…"

"I will…" a metaphoric light-bulb appeared above Molly's head. "I will give one of your razors to Mrs. Lovett!"

A gasp covered the room…even the girls stopped counting.

"You wouldn't."

"I. would."

"10 seconds left."

Sweeney stood up and threw his arms out like a child. "No fair! I wasn't given enough time."

"You still have 8 seconds!"

"Uh…I got the white streak because I tried to cut my own hair and I escaped Australia by dancing over a…"

"TIMES UP!"  
>Sweeney stomped his foot. "I demand a redo!"<p>

"Too bad." Molly slowly and teasingly waltzed over to Mrs. Lovett and placed a razor in her open and excited palms. She smiled and rubbed it against her cheeks and smelled it and flicked it open and ran her hands over it and…and Sweeney sobbed.

Between gasps he whined. "Ugh! There's Mrs. Lovett *gasp* all over *gasp* Jeremy!"

"You uh…named them?" the Judges low voice questioned.

"THEY'RE MY BEST FRIENDS!"

The whole room kind of drew back at the really really strange and out of character sobbing mess in the corner. Like…what?

Mrs Lovett slowly approached the tear-puddles and placed the razor at Sweeney's feet. He grabbed it like a hungry animal and retreated back to his corner, hovering over it like it would dematerialize from his hands if he wasn't careful.

"Um…super sorry Rosa…contrary to popular belief…authors really don't have much control over what their characters do…and I think Sweeney's out of the running for a bit." The rest of the groups eyes slowly rose to where Molly was seemingly talking to the wall. "Perhaps we will come back to your question if you're even still there."

Molly let her eyes drift awkwardly back to Sweeny and the conglomeration of characters behind her followed suit.

Seconds past…

"MOVING RIGHT A-LONG!" caused everyone to jump out of their state. Judge even fell out of his chair and spilled into a gold-panted mess onto the floor. That seemed to bring Sweeney's face from its super deep sorrow back to its normal deep sorrow.

"This next…"

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Sam was up jumping now, hand raised high.

Molly stared at the girl…who simply continued to jump and wave and wave and jump and… "YES SAM?"

"Can I read it?"

Molly threw the letter at her friend, "Knock yourself out…no Sweeney I don't mean literaly."

"Alrighty-o." Sam began, "This one's from Abby! She wants to ask Anthony – How many times have people mistaken…" Her smile and her eyes fell. "I don't want to read this one anymore."

"Why?" Anthony spoke up for the first time in a very long time because Johanna had insisted that he had been way too rude at the beginning of all this. "Please, do tell me what it says."

Marie snatched the letter from her sister's hands. Reading it in her head she burst into a hysterical ball of laughing teenager.

"What? Why? What does it say? Tell me please! I feel that it must be something embarrassing, huh? Yeah, I know. I feel things." Johanna elbowed Anthony again, a signal to just stop.

Molly grabbed the now-crumbled paper from the mess of Marie on the floor.

"How many times have people mistaken you for a girl, Anthony?"

Again, dramatic focus turns to the victim. And Anthony just turned a rather cute red.

"Uh…should I really answer that?" he asked slowly, turning to Johanna for approval, not daring to step outside his girls comfort zone any more then he already had.

Johanna had closed her eyes when the question was asked. Slowly she nodded. Opened her eyes. They sparkled. Her lips parted. She answered, "I did."

The air was broken.

"Me too." grumbled Sweeney.

"Me three." added Mrs. Lovett.

"I thought he was an awkward girl with a deep voice." Toby mumbled.

"I also." The Judge said. "I always knew Johanna's beauty would attract the less-desirable and creepy."

"You, I'm ignoring." Molly walked slowly to Anthony and looked him in the eyes. "It's ok, love. I always knew you were a boy and I find you rather attractive so don't listen to them cause they're just stupid."

"Hey, I've got a razor now!"

"Oh look! I'm ignoring you too now! It's a big club, you two should get t-shirts!" Molly threw toward Sweeney and the Judge. Then back to Anthony, "Sorry about that."

"No! It's all right! They're been many others. Including my parents."

Molly wasn't really sure what to say back to that.

"Here. Just let me count…this may take a while…mum, dad, William, Patrick, Jon, Tom, Colin, Sylvester, Peter, Paul, Chris, David, Matt…and that was just at my all boys school! Yeah! An all boys school and they thought I was a girl! But I digress and I shall go on…Mrs…"

And so Anthony went on…and on…and on and on and on and on and

* * *

><p><strong>Sadly...this may become just an annual thing! No, just kidding.<strong>

**Sorry to keep everyone waiting, it really blows my mind as to how often people find this story and review it! I'll be back eventually, it's hard to quit something that's so much fun!**

**Drop a question in!**


End file.
